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Writer's pictureArvin Simon

Embracing Failure: A Path to Mental Health and Wellbeing


The vast majority of people who enter psychotherapy have an unhealthy—even punitive—relationship with failure. This is deeply unfortunate, as our mental health and personal development crucially depends on our being able to recognize the different kinds of failures that punctuate our life and pivoting towards a more transparent, compassionate embrace of the failures that ultimately help us live towards more fulfillment and determination. Amy Edmondson, a renowned scholar in organizational behavior, has usefully categorized failure into three distinct varieties: basic, complex, and intelligent. Her concepts were initially applied towards understanding how organizations learn and innovate; however, as we will see, these concepts may also help us cultivate a healthier relationship with our own mistakes.


Edmondson’s research differentiates failures based on their causes and the contexts in which they occur. Basic failures arise from simple, avoidable mistakes, such as forgetting a deadline or misplacing an important document. These failures are not always trivial however; the Air Florida Flight 90 crash in 1982 (which resulted in 74 deaths) was the result of the pilot’s basic failure to engage a critical protective system. Complex failures are more intricate, often occurring when multiple interacting factors contribute to a negative outcome—think of a patient receiving the wrong medication in a hospital, resulting in a severely adverse reaction. This failure could be due to multiple, intersecting factors: poor communication between the doctor and nurse, failure to implement proper checks due to staff shortages and high patient volumes, unnecessarily complex interactions with the electronic medical record (EMR) system. Intelligent failures, however, are different; they are the valuable, necessary missteps taken in pursuit of new knowledge or innovation, like an inventor’s initial attempts to create a groundbreaking technology. If Edison purportedly needed nearly 10000 failures to invent the lightbulb, think about how many failures were required to produce the iPhone. How many times did an artificial intelligence program need to fail to produce work of value? These intelligent failures are not only expected but encouraged in environments where learning, innovation and growth are prioritized.


failures are not only expected but encouraged in environments where learning, innovation and growth are prioritized

The significance of these distinctions becomes clearer when considering Edmondson's two-factor model, which examines uncertainty and cost (stakes). The model can be visualized in the matrix below:



  • Basic Failures: Low uncertainty, high or low cost. These are simple mistakes that are usually preventable and can have significant consequences (e.g., forgetting to take a prescribed medication).

  • Complex Failures: High uncertainty, high cost. These occur in complex systems where multiple factors interact, such as in mental health care where multiple diagnoses, patient factors and overlapping symptoms can complicate treatment plans.

  • Intelligent Failures: High uncertainty, low cost. These are desirable failures that occur when experimenting or trying new approaches, such as attempting a new coping mechanism for anxiety that may not work perfectly at first but provides valuable feedback.


consequently, we often greatly over-evaluate the cost of trying a new behavior, or facing an old anxiety.

Given the costs of simple and complex failures, it is understandable why we are not only motivated to minimize these failures, but from an evolutionary perspective, why we are designed to following a major failure or setback in our lives. According to Ed Hagen's work on the evolutionary origins of depression, rumination could serve a functional purpose: to help individuals focus on unresolved problems or threats, encouraging deep analysis and reflection to avoid future mistakes or failures. In this context, rumination might act as a mechanism to minimize basic failures by focusing an individual's attention on specific mistakes or shortcomings, making them hypervigilant of potential errors. This heightened attention could reduce the likelihood of repeating simple, preventable mistakes (basic failures). For instance, someone might ruminate on a recent social faux pas—going over every detail repeatedly in their mind to ensure they don't commit a similar mistake in the future. Rumination may also serve to analyze and preemptively address complex failure situations, where multiple factors interact to produce an adverse outcome. For example, when faced with a difficult work situation involving interpersonal conflicts, unclear roles, or high stakes, depressive rumination might compel the person to think through every possible outcome, scrutinizing all the variables at play. This process, while mentally taxing, may help them avoid or mitigate complex failures by better preparing for complicated social or professional scenarios. Tragically for many, we often do not differentiate basic, complex and intelligent failures in our own lives; consequently, we often greatly over-evaluate the cost of trying a new behavior, or facing an old anxiety. There are features that distinguish productive rumination from negative rumination. I will elaborate on this in a following blog post.


The result is a narrowing of life’s possibilities, as the individual becomes increasingly constrained by fear of making mistakes or encountering uncertainty.

Unfortunately, many common psychopathologies, such as depression and anxiety, however often involve a disproportionate focus on avoiding all forms of failure, including intelligent ones. This hypervigilance to potential failure cultivates a risk-averse mindset, causing individuals to avoid new experiences or challenges. The result is a narrowing of life’s possibilities, as the individual becomes increasingly constrained by fear of making mistakes or encountering uncertainty. Edmondson's work suggests that by reframing our relationship to failure, particularly intelligent failure, we can break this cycle of avoidance.


Psychotherapy plays a vital role in encouraging this productive risk-taking. Through various therapeutic modalities, such as exposure-based therapies involving behavioral experiments, clients are invited to explore their fears and experiment with new behaviors in a safe and supportive environment. This process often involves taking small, manageable risks (usually with the encouraging feedback and assistance of a supportive therapist) that may lead to intelligent failures. Rather than shrinking from these potential failures, clients learn to embrace these experiences as opportunities for growth, expanding their understanding of themselves and the world around them. This shift not only enhances psychological flexibility but also enriches life with greater meaning and possibility.


Let’s take a case example.



Lisa (a hypothetical client) is a 32-year-old woman who has struggled with social anxiety for most of her adult life. Her anxiety manifests as an intense fear of embarrassment or rejection in social situations, which has led her to avoid many activities that could expose her to judgment, such as public speaking, attending parties, or even expressing her opinions in meetings at work. This avoidance has significantly impacted her personal and professional life, leading to feelings of loneliness, stagnation, and a diminished sense of self-worth.


Lisa's therapist, using an exposure-based approach, introduces the concept of behavioral experiments—purposeful, planned activities designed to test her fears and assumptions in real-world scenarios. The therapist explains that these experiments may lead to “intelligent failures,” where Lisa's feared outcomes might happen, but in a controlled way that provides valuable feedback and learning opportunities.


One of Lisa's core fears is that if she speaks up in a work meeting, her colleagues will find her ideas foolish, leading to rejection or ridicule. Her therapist proposes a small, manageable experiment: at the next team meeting, Lisa will share a simple idea she has been considering but has kept to herself.


Despite her anxiety, Lisa agrees to the experiment, knowing that even if she experiences some discomfort or perceived failure (e.g., if her idea is not well-received), the experience will help her gather real evidence about the accuracy of her fears. The therapist helps her to prepare for the possibility of different outcomes, providing coping strategies and supportive feedback to manage her anxiety both before and after the meeting.


During the meeting, Lisa nervously shares her idea, but instead of the rejection she fears, her colleagues respond with mixed feedback—some agree, some offer constructive criticism, and one colleague seems indifferent. While this is not the unqualified praise she had hoped for, it's also far from the social catastrophe she had imagined.


Lisa experiences an "intelligent failure" in the sense that her experiment did not result in complete success (full acceptance and approval), but the outcome is still highly informative. She learns several critical things:


  1. Her worst fears (being harshly judged or rejected) did not materialize.

  2. The feedback she received, even when critical, was constructive and part of normal professional discourse.

  3. Her idea, even though not perfect, was treated with more respect than she anticipated.


In the session following the experiment, Lisa and her therapist discuss the outcome. The therapist encourages Lisa to focus not on the perceived “failure” of not receiving unanimous approval but on the valuable lessons gained from the experience. They explore how this intelligent failure has broadened Lisa's understanding of social dynamics and her capacity to handle mixed feedback. Critically, it has also provided Lisa with the confidence that she can bear her own unpleasant, even painful, emotional experiences.


Through this process, Lisa begins to see that intelligent failures like these are not something to be avoided but are essential for her growth. Each time she takes a risk, even if it does not lead to the desired outcome, she gains insights that help recalibrate her perceptions and reduce the grip of anxiety over her life. She starts to realize that failure is not synonymous with catastrophe; it is often a necessary step toward greater self-confidence, resilience, and an enriched, more connected life.


By embracing intelligent failures, Lisa develops psychological flexibility—the ability to stay open to new experiences, tolerate uncertainty, and engage in valued activities despite the presence of fear. Over time, these small, repeated exposures lead to a significant reduction in her anxiety, allowing her to participate more fully in her personal and professional life.


To make the most out of intelligent failures in therapy several key components are required:


  • New Territory: The failure must occur in area of your life that you can expect to learn new—and potentially valuable—information.

  • Hypothesis-Driven: There should be a clear, testable hypothesis guiding the action. In this example, it might be: “If I say something foolish, I will be shut down by others.”

  • Small Scale: Failures should be as small as possible to minimize the threat of getting started. The stakes can increase as one gets more confidence in bearing the capacity to intelligently fail.

  • Quick Feedback: Feedback about one’s performance should ideally be delivered in a clear, prompt and direct manner.

  • Preparation: Do your homework to reduce unnecessary risks. Clarify the uncertainty as much as possible before embarking on a venture.

  • Grit: Popularized by Angela Duckworth, this concept may be applied here as the ability to withstand the everyday setbacks that come from pursuing a new venture, skill, relationship etc.


In conclusion, recognizing and categorizing failures can profoundly impact our psychological health and wellbeing. By minimizing basic and complex failures and maximizing intelligent ones, we can foster a more resilient, adaptive mindset. For further exploration, readers may refer to Edmondson's research or delve into related works such as The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth, which discusses the intersection of failure, learning, and psychological resilience.


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