Envy is a universal emotion. Virtually every discovered civilization—past and present—contains artifacts that records its presence through human history, permeating virtually every aspect of our lives. From ancient scriptures to modern social media feeds, the narrative of envy has evolved, yet its core remains unchanged: it is the discomfort and longing provoked by others' possessions or successes. This post delves into the multifaceted nature of envy. Beginning with an exploration of envy in Greek and Biblical sources, we turn to examine how it is an emotion of utmost social importance—relating to how we find ourselves within our own tribes. We then turn to modern, psychoanalytic understandings of envy before discussing ways to remedy its often-corrosive effects on our mental health.
The Historical Roots of Envy
Envy's roots are as ancient as civilization itself, deeply embedded in both philosophical discourse and religious texts. The Greeks, who were profoundly influential in laying the groundwork for Western thought, often pondered on envy or phthonos. Philosophers like Hesiod and Aristotle viewed envy as a begrudging emotion that thrived among equals, particularly when one surpassed another in fortune or fame. Aristotle distinguished between envy and emulation; the former being a base response to the good fortune of others, and the latter a more noble drive to uplift oneself without wishing ill upon others.
In the Bible, envy is depicted with stark consequences, from Cain's murderous wrath against his brother Abel to Joseph's brothers selling him into slavery. These stories highlight the creative and destructive potential of envy, portraying it as a force that can fracture communities and erode moral foundations but also drive one towards higher orders of excellence and achievement without one’s own circles of belonging. Both the philosophical and theological treatments of envy offer early insights into its deeply social nature and its capacity to incite distress and growth.
Envy and Social Status in the Modern World
In modern times, Robert Sapolsky’s research provides a scientific perspective on how deeply entrenched our sensitivity to social status is, and how this sensitivity fuels feelings of envy. It turns out that our social hierarchies influence our stress levels, much as they do in the baboons that Sapolsky studied for over 30 years in East Africa. Those group members lower in the pecking order tended to experience higher levels of stress hormones, which can exacerbate feelings of envy towards those at the top who appeared happier, more successful, or more resourceful.
In humans, the hierarchies are even more complicated. With the advent of social media, these dynamics have further intensified. Platforms like Instagram and Facebook serve as constant reminders of others' accomplishments and possessions, often embellished and stripped of context. These frequent comparisons—made dozens of times per day—can lead to an increase in envy, as continuous exposure to idealized versions of others' lives makes many of us feel inadequate or left behind. While some of us are able to instinctively marshal envy towards a productive capacity—much like Aristotle’s notion of emulation, many of us become lost in the spiralling vortex of negative human emotion. As a species, the impact of envy on our mental health is substantial, manifesting as increased anxiety, lowered self-esteem, and sometimes even depression.
Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Envy
From a psychoanalytic perspective, envy is not merely a reaction to wanting what others have but also includes a moral conviction that the other should not possess what they have at all. Melanie Klein, a child psychoanalyst and significant critic of Sigmund Freud, described envy as a spiteful emotion that arises from an unconscious part of the self.
Envy vs. Jealousy
While most people often refer to envy and jealousy as interchangeable terms, psychoanalytic thinking treats them as quite different. Envy is about wanting what someone else (however unfairly) possesses, while jealousy involves worrying that someone might take what you have.
In practical terms, jealousy is the fear of losing something precious (the desired object) to someone else (the rival), while envy is the pain over someone else having something that one does not (the desired object). For instance, a person might feel jealous if they perceive a co-worker as a threat to their job security but envious when they see a peer achieving accolades for their work. Because envy does not require a more intimate social context where the other is an actual (rival) figure in our lives, it becomes generalizable to far more social contexts. The ability to feel envy is potentially limitless as we are exposed online to myriad scenarios of others’ success, fame, and admiration.
The Healing Power of Self-Compassion
Envy (along with jealousy) can be situated in that family of emotions where shame and bitterness also reside. These are moral emotions that seem to have some evolutionary underpinnings and seem greatly exacerbated in anonymous, social contexts. The therapeutic response to anonymity and secrecy is often based on strategies of acknowledgment, recognition and reconciliation. Compassion is the psychological experience that often results from the processes being applied in a deliberative, healing encounter. Kristin Neff’s research on compassion describes three skill-based components, which we can deliberately practice to cultivate this emotional experience, in order to counteract the negative spiral of envy. Here is how each skill component can be applied:
Kindness: Instead of self-criticism for feeling envious, we can lean into the opposite action of kindness (towards ourselves and others, even the subject who possesses our desired object). Practicing kindness is not about denying our envy; rather, kindness helps us build good personal and social character while we gather the emotional and physical resources to cope with the changes (including loss and grief) that feelings of envy can often result from.
Common Humanity: Recognizing that others also struggle with envy at times can normalize these feelings and reduce the stigma associated with them. Psychoanalytic research suggests that envy helps us recognize our desires, and serve as a catalyst for personal growth (recall Aristotle’s idea of emulation). By recognizing the adaptive functions of our so-called negative feelings, we can alleviate feelings of shame and promote a gentler attitude towards ourselves.
Ronesh Sinha, a wellness physician, discusses how we often perceive the successes of others without seeing their failures—while at the same time, we are quick to recognize our own failures while often minimizing our successes. This selective attention can result in us thinking (falsely) that we would be 100% better off in someone else’s shoes. Even if that were the (unlikely) case, how many people do we stop to recognize may think that they would likely be better off in our own shoes? Do you, for example, regularly consider your own privileges (e.g., access to medicines, shelter, being born in this modern period of wealth and opportunity), compared to the approximately 100 billion people that have been said to have existed over time?
Mindfulness: In practicing the third skill, mindfulness, we are tasked with observing our feelings of envy without blindly identifying with the feelings, without evaluating or judging the feelings and without being overwhelmed by the feelings. This practice of observing our inner states with a soft focus and moderate distance, rather than simply reacting to them allows for a clearer assessment of why we feel envious and how we might address the underlying causes in a constructive way.
By fostering an attitude of self-compassion, we can better manage the distress associated with envy, ultimately leading to more positive and compassionate responses to themselves and others. Researchers have shown that mindfulness can lead to increased resilience, reduced emotional suffering, and a greater overall sense of well-being, making it a powerful tool for dealing with complex emotions like envy.
Conclusion
Envy, while a natural emotion, need not run monstrous in our lives. By understanding its origins and manifestations, and by learning to apply the principles of self-compassion, we can mitigate its destructive effects, while mining its creative potential, to lead more contented lives. As we navigate our complex social landscapes, both online and offline, building kindness, embracing empathy (for self and others) and practicing mindful awareness is essential for building resilience to help us better cope with the age-old spirit of envy.
Sources
Aristotle. Rhetoric and Poetics.
Buss, D. M. (2000). The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy is as Necessary as Love and Sex. Free Press.
Hill, S. E., & Buss, D. M. (2008). The Evolutionary Psychology of Envy. In R. H. Smith (Ed.), Envy: Theory and Research (pp. 60-70). Oxford University Press.
Joseph, B. (1986). Envy in everyday life. Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, 2(3), 235-244.
King James Bible. (2019). Christian Art Publishers. (Original work published 1769)
Klein, M. (1957). Envy and Gratitude. Tavistock Publications.
Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. HarperCollins.
Sapolsky, R. (2017). Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst. Penguin Books.